When I was called into the young men's presidency, I was also called as assistant varsity coach. As part of my preparation for the calling, I was to be scout trained. This involved me taking one Saturday and sitting through powerpoint slides of how to plan varsity activities for the young men (there is only one teacher in our teachers quorum right now, who has no inclination for actual scouting activities). It also involed an overnight camp out with other scout leaders for "Outdoor Leader Essentials" training. Yes. I had to go on a campout last weekend. Normally, I am not totally averse to camping. Snapdragon and I went to Fathers and Sons once with Aaron and Destroy. That was fun. But the moment you attach "scouts" to it, I have Vietnam style flashbacks to cold rainy nights, lame camp fire programs, and a selected few obnoxious leaders.
A few highlights:
- I froze my posterior distribution off. My sleeping bag did not have one man-made fiber, except the zipper. Cold, oh so cold.
- Sharing a tent with two other leaders, one of whom snored like there was no tomorrow. And then, other people in close proximity who snored.
- Lifelong scouts who were in charge of the training sessions; knots and lashings, orienteering, first aid, starting fires, knives and hatchets. It's like these people live for the moment they get to leave the house and be scouts with other scouts. My preferences are for my comfortable bed and snuggling with my beautiful wife. Sleeping bags in a tent with other men just don't do it for me.
- Not showing up in full uniform. I was lectured by another scout leader (from whom I tried to borrow a uniform, but it's not really appropriate since it had all of his rankings) before even leaving for the campout, and then another lecture to a group of us who didn't have one at the end of the campout.
- My campfire skit was a total flop. The premise was a government bailout office, and I was the bailout officer. I had other patrol members be evil CEO's looking for a handout. They all got their bailout money. The last person was the CEO of the BSA, and didn't get a bailout because scouts are supposed to "be prepared". I thought it was pretty funny, but no one else did.
The scariest thing about this is that I take my training with me, so I am now more susceptible to callings involving scouting. Oh well.
4 comments:
those uniforms are not cheap. I hate scouts and I hope if I do have more children, they're more girls so I never have to deal with scouts!
I wish scouting was more like the show Man vs. Wild... or that my scout masters had been like Bear Grylls. And instead of Scouts, the program should be called Wilderness Survival or, better, Survival of the Fittest. In that program, parents would have to sign a waiver saying, "if my child isn't fit to survive, he won't, and I'm fine with that." Make it a matter of life or death and it gets taken much more seriously by the scouts, who realize if they don't learn how to make it, they're screwed.
I was not happy for him to be gone 24 hours, but if he picked up a few skills that would help this family survive in the wild, I am okay with that. I think learning survival skills is essential and important for young men and women. These upcoming generations just may need them.
Ben, go read the Hunger Games. Even guys enjoy it. Its all about survival of the fittest.
I took Papu camping a couple of weeks ago.
Worst experience of my life.
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